Change

Wow. I didn’t write on this blog at all in May. The reason for that is that I am trying to change my focus. I think this blog was good for me for a while, but now not so much. I find that it’s not health to “label” myself as a menace to society. The truth is I am a very valuable part of society. :) Which is why I’ve started a new blog. I’m going to work on being grateful for what I do have verses what I don’t have quite yet, and finding joy in the single life. After all, I’m only single once. (So I hope! lol.)

Sincerely,

Sarah

The “M” word

Okay so I know I whine and complain about being single and the fact that I’m not married a lot. I even made a blog up for it. haha. But seriously I blame the society I live in, mainly the church, it teaches me “I must get married to go to heaven.” It’s one of the reasons I came here to Earth. To find that eternal companion. The “M” word- Marriage- is everywhere. It’s insane and super annoying! Maybe I won’t be so worried about it if people would  just get off my back about it. “Get married, get married, get married.” Is preached to us single folk all the freakin’ time! OKAY!! I get it! Marriage is important. Marriage is good. Telling me that isn’t helping! This weekend is stake conference, a young single adult conference, so you know what that means, that stinkin’ M word is getting throw around a lot! I have a hard enough finding a boy to go out on a date with me, let alone marry me!

Luckily tonight’s session wasn’t just about marriage. There was also talk about missions (check ;)) and education. I suppose that is where my aim shall be considering that is something I can control. :) Something to keep my busy and occupied. I’m told that “it” will happen when I least expect it. (I wrote a post about that theory so if you want to know more about it, go look for it.) It’s very confusing. “don’t expect it, but be extremely worried about it” all at the same time. whatever. I’m done. If it happens, it happens. I honestly don’t count on it happening any time soon, if ever.  

Sincerely,
Sarah

Triangle Plan

I’ve had an interesting last two days. Yesterday in my sociology class we talked about marriage and family. One of the big things we talked about was divorce and discussed the pros and cons. Today a random man at work decided to tell me all about his divorce and how he’s glad to be rid of her. Wow, I know. TMI. (too much information.) Then I received a text from my aunt telling me after less than a month of being divorce my uncle (or ex uncle now I guess is what I call him?) is getting remarried at the end of the month. So yeah. Lot of talk of divorce in the last two days. Not sure I ever want to get married now.

I told Cathy about it and we got talking about marriage, and how freaked out we can be about it, and I stated the obvious fear: how can we know that it will last forever? She then shared with me something she heard from her stake president a while back. He said, “You fall in a hole, and you fall out of bed, you don’t fall in love” and explain that when he married his wife he thought he loved her, but looking back now he’d say that he just really liked her a lot. “Love takes work. If you don’t work at it, it goes away.”

Then we got talking about the triangle analogy I’ve heard a couple times in my single life in preparing me for marriage. That marriage is a three way commitment. God is at the top corner of the triangle, husband at one, and the wife at the other. As the husband and wife are moving upward toward God they are moving closer to each other. :) In thinking about this, and couples who follow this triangle plan, such as my Dad and Stepmom, they are the happiest couple I know. I believe it’s because they are following this triangle plan. :)

I hope to find a love like theirs one day. In the meantime I’ll work on what I can, moving upward on my side of the triangle towards God. ;)

Love,
Sarah

If I were a Star..

On last night’s episode of Dancing with the Stars, they picked their most memorial year of their life and danced in honor of it. If I were a Star, and had the chance to be on the show, I would pick the year 2002, the year my Mom passed away from Breast Cancer. I would dance the waltz to Hillary Duff’s song “Someone’s Watching over me” in a pink dress (the color of Breast Cancer awareness.) with Derek Hough as my partner, because he is my favorite professional dancer on the show. He is very talented! I love his choreography the most, and he knows how to make his partner shine. Plus he’s super attractive. That doesn’t hurt, just sayin’, I think we’d look good together. Can you see it? I can. If I were any of the judges I’d give us all 10s. ;D

Love,
Sarah

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBTh5Q2jgfM

Daffodils

Yesterday I received quite the surprise. My Dad came into my work with daffodils. I asked him why, what’s the occasion? He said it’s daffodil day. :) I’ve concluded I like daffodil day. :) They were just buds when he gave them to me with the promise that if I put them in water they will bloom. With the help from my roommate, I put them in a vase and sure enough shortly after they started opening up. I sent him a picture of the blossoming flowers and said “Wow! The buds are already starting to open up! Cool!” and he wrote back “So pretty! Just like you.” Awe! :) Is my Dad the sweetest or what? :D I feel so loved. I may not have a husband, or a boyfriend, but at least I know I have a great Dad who loves me for who I am, and is always there to help me blossom. ;)

Love,
Sarah

Honestly

Could you love somebody like that?
Could you attract someone like that?
Could you go where people can't see someone like me
Could you do that?

Would you face me
Make me listen to the truth even if it breaks me
You can judge me, love me
If you're hating me
Do it honestly

All I see are stepford-like lives
Needles and knives
Beautiful lies
Bringing out the green in your eyes
A perfect disguise for envy and pride

Face me
Make me listen to the truth,
Even if it breaks me
You can judge me, love me
If you're hating me do it honestly

You can tell me (x5)

Face me
Make me listen to the truth,
Even if it breaks me
You can judge me, love me
If you're hating me

Would you,
Face me,
Make me listen to the truth even if it breaks me
Judge me, love me
If you're hating me
Do it honestly

[Song Lyrics for Kelly Clarkson’s Honestly]

I love this song. I feel like screaming this to those boys who lead me on. If you’re hating me, you can tell me, do it honestly.

Love,
Sarah

I spit on you

That is my new phrase. I was talking to Cathy about boys, like we usually do, about how stupid they are and how they should just love us. We are awesome. So awesome we should have a line out the door of guys begging to ask us out. Seriously! They have no idea what they are missing. They are SO chungo. I spit on you! I spit on all of you. :P

Sincerely,
Sarah

Date Night

So last night was my blind date. It was great fun. Josh and Clarissa came to pick me up at eight. I was expecting to meet my mystery date then, but didn’t. Turns out we were having dinner at his place. I meet my date for the night Luke. Who’ve I’ve actually met once before. Super nice guy. He actually made dinner. Impressive. As we waited for it to cook we played a game. It was a game in which we had a candle in the middle of the table and did a chant. We rub the plate and rub our faces. What we didn’t know at the time is that one of the plates had black on the back that came off when rubbed and onto our faces at we rubbed during the chant. I was lucky not to receive such a plate. Poor Clarissa. After we played on object game in which Josh was blind folded and guessed what the different objects placed in front of him were. After guessing the last object, an egg, Luke pretended to crack it on his head. lol. This boy is a prankster. I better watch out. lol. After we played a map game. I lost. It happens. Then we had dinner. It was delicious! Mmm. We had a nice time chatting and laughing. We decided to play Yatzee afterward. I got second. ;) While we were playing that, Luke’s roommates came home from a double date themselves and wanted to watch a movie and invited us to join. It was Thor so I accepted. :) It was lots of fun. :) It was fun getting to know Luke better. Just a couple things we have in common- we both know Spanish because of our missions and get this- he’s a twin too! How cool is that? :) It was a really fun night. :)

Sincerely,
Sarah

Suspense

It’s official. I have a date tomorrow night. Ooo! With who? –you may be asking.. I have no idea. Remember how a month I told you my friend Josh wanted to hook me up? well that night I couldn’t go. So yeah, he asked me today for tomorrow night. I can- so I said yes. :) I told my friend Cathy, and asked her, well more like wondered out loud, if I should has him who this guy is or if I should just be surprised. She told me I could ask him who it is or if he was going to keep me in suspense. So I asked and no response. So far it’s suspense. lol. It’s kind of fun not knowing. It’s a double date with Josh and his fiancé. They are super great so I know it will be loads of fun. Josh is a goof, but also a real gentleman. Whomever this guy is I know Josh will make sure he treats me right. :) A part of me wonders if there is a guy yet. maybe he’ll tell me tomorrow he couldn’t find anyone and cancel on me. or maybe there is someone.. maybe someone I like, or someone I don’t :/ or perhaps it’s someone I’ve never meet. Who knows? Aren’t blind dates great? lol.

Sincerely,
Sarah

Twitterpated

Flower: [about two birds fluttering around] Well! What's the matter with them?
Thumper: Why are they acting that way?
Friend Owl: Why, don't you know? They're twitterpated.
Flower, Thumper, Bambi: Twitterpated?
Friend Owl: Yes. Nearly everybody gets twitterpated in the springtime. For example: You're walking along, minding your own business. You're looking neither to the left, nor to the right, when all of a sudden you run smack into a pretty face. Woo-woo! You begin to get weak in the knees. Your head's in a whirl. And then you feel light as a feather, and before you know it, you're walking on air. And then you know what? You're knocked for a loop, and you completely lose your head!
Thumper: Gosh, that's awful.
Flower: Gee whiz.
Bambi: Terrible!
Friend Owl: And that ain't all. It could happen to anyone, so you'd better be careful.
[points at Bambi]
Friend Owl: It could happen to you...
[points at Thumper]
Friend Owl: ...and you, and...
[Flower looks at Owl shyly]
Friend Owl: Yes, it could even happen to you!
Thumper: Well, it's not gonna happen to me.
Bambi: Me neither.
Flower: Me neither.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mf4v4Yunm4s

I was watching Bambi the other day with my niece, and couldn’t help but share this with you all. :) It made me laugh. So that’s what it means to be twitterpated. How awful right? lol. I better be careful.. ;)

Love,
Sarah

Book Club

I’ve recently joined a book club. Tonight was the first night I attended one of the meetings. It was really nice. :) I really enjoy reading. It’s my favorite pass time. It’s one reason I want to become a novelist myself one day. I think it would be really fun to write books. I think this book club will be good for me. I’ll get to read all sorts of different styles of books and plus make new friends who like me love to read. :) I’m excited for this adventure in my life. :)

Sincerely,
Sarah

Points

I find it really funny how in this dating game we play we have this point system in our head. Points on appearance are typically the first ones we give out.. or subtract, then come points for how they act and what they say. I find most the points I give or subtract are based on the way they act. I understand that no one is perfect and the fact is I’m not looking for perfect. The pluses just need to out weight the minus is all. :)

Sincerely,
Sarah

(PS. Refer to "Ryan Scale" post for more detail. ;))

Dating Resume

So, remember how my bbf Trisha wants to set me up on a date? Yesterday we were chatting and she asked me what my hobbies are these days. It sort of reminded me of making out a resume. lol. I assume that is why she was asking. To tell her friend (aka the boy’s sister) my answers.

Then tonight at a small group ward dinner activity thing I went to got me thinking of this dating resume again. A lot of the conversation fell on dating. Pass relationships, kissing. etc. It was kinda uncomfortable for me. I was worried someone might ask me a question I really didn’t want to answer. I was grateful no one did. I didn’t want to share my dating resume, or lack thereof, with everyone, or worst lie. They wouldn’t understand. Very few do. :/

Maybe I am picky. Maybe I should take more risk. I admit I am a very cautious person. Especially when it comes to dating. It’s just hard when the past has taught me it never works out. rejection after rejection after rejection. Why attempted to fall when in the end I’m just gonna get hurt? :/

Sincerely,
Sarah

Lovely

Last night I had a really nice dream. It was lovely. It didn’t start out that way however.

I was with one of my besties Cathy. We were hanging out and one of her crushes came over. I had the feeling he was hitting on me, and acting like he liked me and I didn’t like it because I knew Cathy liked him and I didn’t want him to like me. I wanted him to like her. So I was pretty bratty towards him. She confronted me about my bratty mean attitude because it was so unlike me. I apologized and said I was having a bad day. I concluded in my mind that I was making the whole thing up and reading way too much into it. There was no need to act like a brat.

Later, Cathy was able to detect that he was in fact into me, and we had another talk in which she gave me the okay to go for it. What? I told her no, you like him, and she told me “So what. I like lots of guys. It’s not everyday a guy likes one of us. Go for it!” She's SO great. :)

He did get to around to asking me out, and I said sure I guess. :) He asked me what I wanted to do, so of course I said dancing. lol. :) so yeah. we went to this dance class for our date, he said he didn't know how to dance and wanted me to have a good time so he was willing to take lessons and asked if I'd take them with him. heck yes!! so I did. I remember him picking me up at one part and put me into cradle potion and spin me around in circles. Lots of them! :) I remember getting dizzy. He even kissed me at the end. just a little one. sweet and innocent. which of course made me more dizzy. :)

Anyways, that is my date dream I had last night. It was lovely. :)

Sincerely,
Sarah

Moments

“Life's all about moments of impact and how they changes our lives forever. But what if one day you could no longer remember any of them?” – The Vow

Since seeing “The Vow” last weekend for the first time I can’t help keep thinking about it. I love that movie! So much a saw it again a second time last night. lol. :) This line I quoted here is spoken at the beginning by Leo, talking about his wife Paige’s memory loss.

I’ve been wonder what it would be like if I lost my memory of the last five years. I wouldn’t remember my experiences on the mission. Or any of the friends I’ve made since then. That would really sad. It just got me thinking of how far I’ve come in the last five years. Am I a different person now then I was then? I think so. I also got thinking about the future. Where will I be in five years? What if I woke up from a coma like Paige learning all this new stuff about myself? I would hope to find myself greeted by a good looking husband, who’s also a sweetheart, like Leo. :) hehe.

I really like the main message of this movie, that the moments in our life help create who we are, along with the people we know and care about. Life is about gaining experience and discovering who we are through those moments. :)

I could say more but hate to spoil the movie for those who haven’t seen it. I totally recommend that you do. I love it. :)

Love,
Sarah

Valentines Day

Today is Valentines Day, aka Single Awareness Day. It’s not a real holiday. Do I get the day off work or school? No. Making this day not an actually holiday. It’s just another excuse to get candy. That’s just silly because why would one need an excuse to eat candy? Candy is good anytime of the year, anytime of the day.. well except breakfast. I did that once and ended up with a stomachache. I recommend to all of you not to do that. lol. Just trust me on this one. ;)

So, Valentines Day, more commonly known (to me at least) as Single Awareness Day. The day couples have an excuse to be extra mushy and lovey dovey making us Single folk want to vomit. That’s normally the effect this non-holiday has on me. but this year, I’ve decided not to get that way. Valentines is about Love and telling those that you love that you love them. I am very blessed to have so many great friends in my life. :) As well as an awesome family, who I love dearly. :) I may not have that certain someone to call my Valentine, but you know, that’s okay. Life goes on.

Sincerely,
Sarah

The Vow

Tonight I went to see the new movie “The Vow” staring Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum with my sister-in-law Hillary. :) I’ve wanted to see this movie since I saw the preview for it. lol. it was a totally chick flick. The theater was filled with girls, and only a few guys that were most likely dragged there by their girl. No real surprise there. lol.

So, Funny story. This past week in my Psychology class we were on the chapter about memory and for part of it we talked about amnesia. One girl brought up this movie saying it’s like that right? and my teacher made a funny comment. Because from the preview we know that Rachel McAdams character loses her memory and doesn’t remember her husband. my teacher said that when you wake up and Channing Tatum is telling you he’s your husband you don’t question it! you just go with it. lol! I agree. That is one Fine looking man. ;D

I thought the movie was great. I laugh, I cried, it moved me. My only complaint would be the ending. I wanted the movie to continue. lol. but such is life. At least it was a happy ending. Well, actually beginning. ;) when I think about it that’s even better way to end. okay I’m okay with how it ended now. lol.

Sincerely,
Sarah

hook you up

Yesterday afternoon I got a random text message from my friend Josh. Before any of you get excited/ jump to conclusions- he’s taken. The conversation went as follows:

Him: “Hey will you go on a double date tonight?
Me: “Tonight? I can’t. I have class. I’m sorry.”
Him: “That’s okay. Another time maybe?”
Me: “Yeah. That would be fun.”
Him: “Sweet! I will hook you up soon then.”

Interesting right? I wonder if he knows something I don’t know. Humm. I’m always game for blind dates. (see post titled “Blind Dates”) They always make for good stories. Even the bad ones. My best friend Trisha is actually working up a blind date for me as well. Which is really funny considering she doesn’t even know the guy. (It’s a girl she works with brother)

Anyways, back to Josh. I find it funny he uses the term “hook you up” Makes it sound like I’m some sort of fish. lol. Am I a fish now in this analogy? Huh. I’m not used to being the fish. This could be fun. lol.

Sincerely,
Sarah

It’s My Birthday!!

Happy Birthday to ME!

Yay for Birthdays! :) I am officially 26!

It was a great birthday! I decided to spoil myself this year; I got myself a new phone, and a huge order of Marykay make up. Why not? It’s only my birthday once a year- why not spoil myself? ;D It was great! I got other gifts too! I’m not used to getting presents on my birthday. It was a really nice surprise. :) I also got millions (so it feels) birthday wishes. :D Yay! I love birthdays!

I spent the day with STB. We went to lunch and after a movie. Oh and after that to Jumba Juice. Yummm. I love sharing my birthdays! I can’t think of anyone I rather spend it with! I love being a twin! :D

However- I have to say the highlight of my day is when my niece called (with her mom’s help course ;)) to sing to me. Awe! SO cute!! :D I love being an Aunt.

Yay for Birthdays! :D Thanks to everyone who made my day great! :D

Love,
Sarah

February

A new month. I am going to follow my friend Cathy’s example and make a resolution/goal for each month of the year that will help with my new year’s resolution. Makes sense. Little goals that will help accomplish a bigger goal. :) (Thank you Cathy.)

So for February I’ve decided my theme/goal is to “live in the moment” I admit, I have a problem of over thinking things. Over analyzing and having a desire to plan out every detail. Life doesn’t work like that. things never work out the way that they are “planned”

So, I’m going to work on “living in the moment” Don’t think, just do. ;) It’s won’t be easy.. but I’m not worried. I got a month to learn how to do it. :)

Sincerely,
Sarah